


River Meets Team Tardis

by Awluvtardis



Series: 13 is a disaster space puppy, but we love her [3]
Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/F, I went back and proofread as the new year began, apparently yall liked my yaz 13 fic, im gonna finish it now!, sorry y'all I fixed it, this is a draft i was workin on last week
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-29
Updated: 2018-10-29
Packaged: 2019-08-09 09:36:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16447358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Awluvtardis/pseuds/Awluvtardis
Summary: Team tardis is worried about the doctor because she likes making friends with people who want to kill her. They meet data ghost river and are slightly less worried about their idiot friend.Summary is crap because all creativity went into the story itself.





	River Meets Team Tardis

**Author's Note:**

> It's Gay yall. Real gay.
> 
> So apparently yall liked my river ships 13/yaz fic? I'm- holy shit y'all?? anyways i went into my notes app and found this from last week. thought i'd finish it up and post it!
> 
> Not River Ships It compliant (aka its not really yaz/13 and they have two different 'how yaz meets river' stories sooo)
> 
> Sequel to River Hates Bigots, but can stand alone.

They're in the TARDIS kitchen when Yaz brings up River again.

"So your wife was in prison for trying to kill you?"

The doctor looks up at her, cheeks puffed out from trying to stuff three custard creams in her mouth at once.

Yaz chuckles. "I'll give ya a minute, there."

After about thirty seconds and a sip of tea, she responds. 

"Technically speaking, at the time people thought she succeeded. Well, the lake Silencio time, not the Berlin one."

Ryan scowled. "So people thought you were dead?"

"A few, yea. People wanted me dead to the point they were going as far as to make it a fixed point in time. An event that absolutely had to happen. They wanted to make sure it hurt too. They took Amy and Rory's daughter and raised her to kill me. Of course, it was Amy and Rory that helped her realize she didn't have to, so that backfired." She took another bite of custard cream before continuing, "Anyways, I let them think they succeeded because I wanted to know why it was so important to them. What it was that Kovarian and the church wanted me to never get to."

"And? What was it?"

"Christmas!" She shoved another custard cream in her mouth, chewing happily as she watched her friends' faces dissolve into confusion.

"So this evil person, kovar-somethin', wanted to kill you before you, what, celebrated Christmas?" Graham questioned incredulously.

"Nah, there was a town called Christmas on the same planet I'm gonna get buried on in the future. There was this crack in the fabric of reality, and on the other side was the pocket universe that I put my planet in instead of destroyin' them." Unbeknownst to her, the Tardis Fam was even more confused by this, but she continued. "Anyways, there was a truth field and they were beamin out the question "Doctor Who?" to all of time and space. If I answered and said my name, then they'd come through and my people would be in this universe again."

"Your people? The Time Lords, right? You've mentioned them. Why did the church people want to stop ya?" Ryan queried over his plate of thin British pancakes with Nutella. (A/N apparently some brits are very particular about this. Grace probs would be. Fellow Americans, imagine a crepe with Nutella on top)

The Doctor stopped chewing for a moment, before resuming, washing it down with a large gulp of her over-sweetened tea, steeling herself for the coming conversation. She held her cup close to her chest, eyes fixed on an empty space on the metal countertop.

"My people, the Time Lords, were on one side of the biggest war ever- the Time War. It raged across time and space, leaving destruction in its wake. Both sides had terrible weapons." She sighed, lost in her memories. "I had to end the war."

She got up to make herself a new cup of tea. Six sugars and a splash of milk. Her friends tracked her movements, but honored the silence, knowing she would continue when she was ready. She sat back down in her designated reclaimed Sheffield steel bar stool, cradling the steaming mug in her palms, not noticing the heat.

"I was somewhere around 800 years old. Not quite sure how old. The Time Lords and the Daleks were locked in a standoff. The Daleks surrounded and bombarded Gallifrey from above, and we shot at them from below. The sky trenches were holding, but not for long. I looked for every possible way to stop The War. We had used every forbidden weapon against them. All but one."

She stared into her cup, then placed it on the counter, worrying her hands.

"There was a weapon that was the last resort. With the push of a button, one could destroy all of Gallifrey." 

"What? What kind of planet has a weapon that can destroy it so easily?" Ryan cried out, face disbelieving.

"Earth used to have a similar weapon. I made sure it was destroyed."

Graham choked on a sausage "We had a /what/??"

"It was called the Österhagen project. 25 nuclear warheads in the earth's crust. If three people with keys activated it together, the planet gets ripped apart."

Yaz placed her head in her hands, smoothing her hair back. "Why would anyone ever make that? Who even could?"

"Some idiot named Österhagen. Martha said that it was 'if the suffering of the Human Race was so great, so without hope, that it became the final option'."

Yaz's hands came down from their position clasped behind her neck, hitting the counter, most likely harder than she meant to, "That's never an option."

The Doctor chuckled mirthlessly. "That's exactly what I said. Anyways, it was a UNIT thing. After the Earth got stolen by Daleks in 2009, not that people really remember that. Planets in the sky, all that, but no one remembers."

"Wait a minute. I remember that! That was in like Year 10! The screaming, flying pepper pots with a plunger and a whisk and the planets in the sky. Are the pepper pots the Dalek things?"

"Yea."

"They were kinda scary."

"Good instincts. They're basically squiddy things in tanks with a gun tied to their emotions."

"I don't really remember that, but my Nan did. I remember her getting a little frustrated with me over that. I didn't remember it. Showed her articles about it being some hallucination thing. It was real?"

"As real as it gets. The Daleks stole 27 planets, needed them for an engine to destroy all of reality. Martha was ordered to take the key and go to the Österhagen station. She used it as a ransom. Stop or she'd get rid of one of the planets they needed. She was a friend of mine, traveled with me a while ago. She left UNIT after she got rid of the Österhagen system. Went freelance with her husband Mickey.

Anyways, The Moment. I planned to use it to stop the war. If Gallifrey wasn't there, then the Daleks would get caught by debris and the crossfire from each other. I had set up in the barn I grew up in when the Moment became sentient."

"Sentient? Doc, how could a weapon be sentient?"

"That powerful a weapon? Of course it had a conscience. Best way to make sure it would never be used. Who would want to use a weapon that could pass judgment on you? But the conscience- Bad Wolf- she created windows to my future selves. Three regenerations ago, with the spiky hair, blue suit, and converse, and two ago with the floppy hair and bowtie. Together, we figured out how to freeze the planet in a single moment in time and keep it in a pocket universe. It worked, and the Daleks destroyed each other for the most part, but my people didn't really want to stay there. So they engineered a situation. A small town called Christmas, A truth field that compelled you to tell the truth, and a crack in space and time sending out a signal. Just two words. 'Doctor who?'."

"Doctor isn't your name then?"

"It's the name I chose. A promise. Never cruel nor cowardly. Never give up, never give in. Always be kind. No one alive knows my true name. A true name is a sacred thing on Gallifrey. Everyone went by nicknames. True names were only used for important ceremonies. Birth, marriage, anointment of children, occasionally in burial rites. If I said my true name, then they would know that was the right universe. Gallifrey would be reinstated in the sky. But I couldn't do it. If I did, the time war would start again. Trenzalore was surrounded by ships of all races, including Daleks. The church knew this and were determined to make sure I never said my name. They helped me defend the town from the races that tried to come after me while I was there, but one sect, Kovarian's, decided to use time travel to go back in my timeline to kill me before I got there."

"So they trained the woman who became your wife to kill you?"

"Yea." She looked so ancient, her eyes betraying just how much time has passed before her. She had fallen into a deep melancholy, fueled by painful memories and the memory of her wife.

\--------------

After the emotion filled breakfast, the Doctor had retreated to her TARDIS workshop, and her friends gathered in a living room with plush posh chairs just off the onboard library. They were playing cards around a mahogany table, a fire popping in the fireplace. They did not speak but to ask after cards, all ruminating on the information dump of the morning.

"I wish we could meet her. River. Or at least learn more about her without hurting the Doc's feelings."

"Me too."

"Yea."

"Don't even know what she looked like."

They looked back to their hands, air heavy.

A noise, almost akin to a long-suffering sigh, emanated from god knows where. A hologram appeared in front of them onto the table. A two foot high gently flickering image of a woman with a mane of blonde curled hair, mouth elegantly curved in an knowing smirk, bright eyes that held the secrets of the universe. A woman dressed in a black leather jacket with 3/4 sleeves, and a silver necklace covering her chest like glittering lace. (the husbands of river song outfit)

Yaz gasped, leaning in, "Is that her? It must be, right?" A chirp emanated from the walls again indicating a positive response, and she refocused her attention to the hologram. It cycled through other images of her, some showing her in action. 

Grainy security footage, wearing a black ball gown, holding a mini gun, eyes peeing over cat eye sunglasses, winking at the camera. 

Army fatigues in a forest next to a woman in a red jumper with flaming ginger hair. Blue Victorian dress and a fur hand muff, prancing towards a man in ancient armor, a sword at his side, down a corridor of a prison. 

A professor lecturing to a class, clearly gesturing wildly and speaking passionately, hologram powerpoint in the background depicting Big Ben, and what appeared to be a futuristic version of the landmark. 

A polka dotted dress that didn't quite fit, aiming a gun towards a man with such a clashing outfit he had to be the Doctor, two figures in the background- the red haired woman from the forest and the armored man in the prison, both in very 2011 outfits, the edge of a swastika visible on the wall behind a desk. 

A scene next to some satellite dish like device with a crystal in the middle, the redhead and centurion on one side wearing dark military outfits, River and the floppy haired Doctor on the other side, hands bound by a strip of cloth. 

River in a parachute dress, face full of righteous anger, the Tardis in a spotlight behind her, redhead and centurion next to a wooden cot next to it.

Jean jacket shooting at a lake, face streaked with tears.

A domestic scene of her in a fluffy robe, clutching a cup of tea, head resting against the shoulder of a man with curly grey hair and bushy eyebrows dressed in an oversized shirt and plait flannel bottoms, an electric guitar in his lap.

It finally came to rest on a photo of her facing a man in a blue suit, her expression pained yet determined. She wore what looked like a space suit, other space suit wearing people scattered behind her. a woman with auburn hair and a purple top seemingly analyzing her. They appeared to be in a darkened abandoned library. The scene gave off a distinct melancholy feel. That, paired with the fact that the lights had dimmed a bit and the fire seemed less warm that it had before that image appeared, caused Graham to ask after it.

"What happened there?"

The Tardis made a sad whirring noise, disappearing the image, before pulling up a clip in its place. It was of River in a stone corridor overgrown with roots and vines. River herself was in a plain white flowing dress, and seemed almost incorporeal.

"I died saving him. In return, he saved me to the biggest data base in the universe. Just left me, like a book on a shelf. Didn't even say goodbye."

"That doesn't sound like the Doctor. Wouldn't she stop her?"

The hologram shifted back to space suit river.

"Please tell me you know who I am." "Who are you?"

"I'm timing it for the countdown, there'll be a blip in the command flow, increase our chances of a clean download."

"Thats my job!" "And I'm not allowed to have a career I suppose?"

"if you die here, it'll mean I'd mean I'd never have met you." "Time can be rewritten." "Not those times, not one line. Don't you dare."

"This means you've always known how I was going to die."

"You whispered my Name in my ear."

"Oh, I'm very good! I saved her!"

A Doctor with spiky hair diving down a blue tunnel, plugging in a blue tipped more grunge-looking sonic into a computer bank terminal.

The hologram flicked off, and the doctor's friends mulled over this information. 

Ryan was the first to speak. "So saving her to the data bank, that was the only way he could think to save her?"

The Tardis chimed affirmatively.

"Doc's wife died the first time they met?" Chime again. "Sounds a bit like Grace and I, really."

"I wish I could've met her."

The Tardis made a complicated series of chirps in response.

"Umm, sorry, not sure what you're trying to say."

The hologram flickered back to life, with a question in gold lettering.

'Do you want to meet her?'

"How? Time travel?"

The chimes sounded almost like a chuckle this time, before they could smell some sort of incense. They eyed each other in confusion, before slumping over in their chairs.

\-----

Yaz came to first, rubbing her eyes before looking around. She seemed to be on a sofa, Ryan to her right and Graham to his. The room looked like a living room one would find in an apartment in a countryside university town.  
Ryan bolted upright, Graham following suit, stretching his arms a bit.

Yaz heard footsteps padding beside the couch just before a tea tray was sat on the table in front of them. She looked up ant the person setting the tray down-

River. River Song. The Doctor’s wife.

“Good of you to drop by. I suppose the Tardis sent you?”

Graham reached for the tea set, eyes still trained on the woman now taking a seat on the armoire across from them. “Yea. How did we get here? I don’t remember traveling.” He poured himself a cup, despite not understanding anything yet. Tea is tea, after all. 

“Travel across time and space has always been possible in dreams. She released a soporific that induced a trance state. Made it possible for us to communicate across time.”

“Okay, well, then, why did the Tardis do that?”

“She knows I get a bit lonely in here, with just Cal, Joshua, and Ella.”

“Who are they?”

“Cal was a girl who was sick over a hundred years ago. The data core was crated to upload her to it, and the library planet around it to give her all the books she could ever want. The data core created Joshua and Ella as computer generated children for couples back when there were many more people uploaded to the data core.”

“So you’re computerized, and taking care of computerized kids?”

“In a way, yes.”

Ryan’s brows furrowed. “Are we computerized?”

“Not quite, no. you’re a bit like a holo-projection of your consciousness. Or, in 21st century terms, We’re video chatting. Just more complex.”

“Ah. That’s alright then.”

“So, I presume you were asking after me?”

“Yea. We had been talking to the Doctor, but she sort of got all melancholy and we had to let it be.”

“She??”

“Er, yea. She changed before she met us. Fell out her Tardis and crashed through the roof of the train.”

“Of course she did.”

"There was a weird pod with an alien in it, and another one put bombs in us and was trying to kidnap Karl, a crane operator, and it was a whole mess."

"I assume she made it all better? Saved the day? She always does."

A quiet fell over the room, Yaz looking at Graham and Ryan, before turning back to River. "Not fully."

River rose from her chair, rounding the coffee table and sitting on it, taking Ryan and Graham's hands. "I'm sorry."

Graham nodded slightly, moving to squeeze River's hand, but just setting his hand above hers.

"My nan- she stopped the weird coily thing. But- it zapped her."

"Grace would've loved all this. Alien Planets, Rosa Parks. Heck, even the spiders."

River smiled sadly at them, allowing them to continue.

They talked for ages about their adventures so far, about people they had lost, and about complicated families.

Soon, though, it was time for them to leave.

"Come visit anytime. And bring my idiot of a wife with you."

"We will. See you later!"

And with that, the world dissolved from view. 

\-------

Yaz woke up in the living room, the Doctor right in front of her face, half eaten croissant in hand.

"How was your visit with River?"

"How did you-"

"The TARDIS made sure I'd be ok with you lot meetin River. She's nice like that."

"Huh. Well, she said we should bring you with us next time."

"Ooh really?? She said that??"

"Yea, I mean she probably misses you?"

"You think so?"

"Pretty sure, yea. I mean, you are married."

A pair of groans echoed from Ryan and Graham, so of course the Doctor went to go wake them up in all her puppy-like splendor.

\---

It was days later when Yaz passed by the room again, hot cocoa in hand, when she noticed the doctor spread-eagle on the couch, fast asleep, a hint of the smell of the spoprific in the air.

The Doctor's cheeks were flushed and she was smirking in her sleep. Yaz wondered what they were talking about in River's world until a moan sounded from the couch, the Doctor now biting her lip.

"Nope. Nuh uh- nope." Yaz muttered, backing out of the doorway and scampering back to her rooms.

She didn't want do get in the middle of that...

Well, on second thought...


End file.
